It is widely believed that men cannot buy good gifts for their wives. Family jokes include the story of a time when Dad bought a mower or outboard motor from Mom. Or the mixer that caused the biggest family fight ever. Have you heard of the man who offered to pay for his wife’s lipstick?

Over time, the event is downplayed and becomes a legend.

Women are just as guilty of this as men; I’ve heard many women say they chose what they wanted, packed it, and told their husbands what they bought. On Father’s Day, I gave my husband the standing jewelry I’ve always wanted.

We all laugh about it, but secretly I think there’s memorial jewelry for loss of brother. The feeling of not being heard, overlooked or even ignored.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Here are some helpful tips for finding the perfect gift for your significant other:

1). Listen. Make a mental note of your wife’s conversation. Is she talking about something new she discovered during the week? Is she excited about a new author she’s reading, a store she likes, a new sport she’d like to play? Then check these things out online and get ideas from various websites.

2) Look. Are her winter gloves worn out? Replace them with an update. Does she leave subtle suggestions around the house, such as magazines or store ads for something special?

Seriously, women aren’t that subtle; if she wants something, you can believe that she will talk more about it or comment while you watch a commercial on TV. The trick is to WANT to find the gift she will love.

3) Take the time to research the right gift. I’m not talking about how it’s manufactured or how many models there are or where the company is in the NASDAQ market. I’m talking about looking around to see what’s available in that category. If you know she wants a massage, ask colleagues for suggestions on great spas in the area. Ask her friends what they think she would like.

4). Love her enough to put some time into the gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Often the perfect gift reflects how important it is to you memorial Jewelry for loss of husband

One of my favorite gifts from my husband Don came when we were still dating.

We had been seeing each other for a few months and I needed to know if he was as involved in the relationship as I was. We were both poor students, so I knew there was no money; yet I challenged him.

“Why don’t you ever send me a sweet and peaceful card?”

I didn’t know if he could hear me and I quickly forgot my comment.

The next day at breakfast he handed me a handmade envelope. Inside the envelope was a card with a cartoon mouse saying, “You wanted a sweet and suede card.” On the inside of the card was a square of dried cornflakes glued with the words “Just add milk”.

It wasn’t the best piece of art and it wasn’t the most expensive gift, but the fact that he listened, watched, and loved me enough to pass the time on that crazy map meant so much to me. After 31 years of marriage I still have it, although I’m sure the cornflakes are so disgusting so far.

Heed my warning here guys.

 DO NOT offer to buy her membership to a weight loss program no matter how much she says she wants one! This will come back to haunt you. Don’t buy sexy lingerie if she’s flannel pajamas. Shop for clothes according to her size; unless she’s the one cutting all the labels out of her clothes, look in the closet to find out her current size. When in doubt, buy the next smaller size. If she protests about the size, tell her she looks like this to you.

Don’t deal with generic gift cards unless she specifically says she will. If so, find a creative way to wrap the card up instead of just throwing it under the mistletoe. I have been known to take a box, fill it with pebbles, add the gift card and wrap it extravagantly. My son Ryan and his grandfather exchanged presents, all wrapped in tape. The fun is in unpacking.

Finally, remember that it is not the price of the gift that matters, but the thought that goes into it. Buy something at the local gas station at the last minute and she’ll know right away. Make this a memorable Christmas for both of you by taking the time to listen, watch, discover and show your love by giving a keepsake that shows you are invested in her life.